worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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