Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
