Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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