u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize