Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
The dick lei will go down in squad history
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
