she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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