The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
