i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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