NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
