I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Randomize
