i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
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He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
My bed smells like the plague
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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