i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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