Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize