I love black thongs
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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