After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
