I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
