i don't plan on having that self control this summer
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
