no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
she told me i tasted like america
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
