i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
