is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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