Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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