Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
