The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Randomize
