I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Randomize
