Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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