using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize