I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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