I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Actions speak louder than pants.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
