You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize
