I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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