Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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