plz talk dirty to me
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
