So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
