I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
