In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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