I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
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