Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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