Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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