your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
