franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
