I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
