how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
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