In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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