i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
