Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
