Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
