Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
