Nicole vs. Life
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
