just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
She told me I should be a condom model.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
