I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
