so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
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i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
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Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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