When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
