I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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