You're a womanizer and a bitch.
i jhust puked up my retainher.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
