he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
