Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
