He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
