all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Randomize
