If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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