Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
We don't watch enough power rangers
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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