You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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