all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
