I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
So vagazzling was a success
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
