There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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