next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
