You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
