My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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