I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
